Career and Friendship - A Correlation

Hi Everyone,

It's been a while, and maybe you wondered where I've been. I had a lot going on, and taking a one-week break from sending newsletters turned into a one-month break. I had exams, a ton of work, a sprinkle of COVID-19 and creator/content fatigue. However, I am happy to bounce back and take my time, one step at a time. I've often spoken about how your circle influences your ability to go far in your career. Still, today, I'll be exploring what practical tips you can take to audit your friendships and create a circle that matches the kind of career energy you need.

Many women in my circle have seen themselves working hard towards career stability, a strategic career path, a learning and development curve, and a global career. I don't know if I do it intentionally, but I'm happy to always be that "career whisperer" for my friends. Before I reached the point where my knowledge and perspective of careers influenced my friends' career choices, I associated myself with people whose experiences influenced mine. I still do because "you can't pour from an empty cup". So how can you begin to audit your circle and align with people with similar career goals? Let's see some tips below:

• Profile yourself: Before you begin to banish people from your life, you have to figure out who you are and what you do. You can find out where you are in life, your career journey and what you need/want. If you are in a place where you need a steady entry-level corporate job in tech or finance, or health, then note that down. Please note it down if you're looking for a career transition into a specific field. If you are trying to work remotely for a foreign company, or you are trying to become a digital nomad, these are all worth identifying. If you have a stable corporate job and are trying to establish other side businesses or portfolio careers, be transparent and honest about it. Your profile will determine what you're looking for in a circle of friends or people you want to associate with.

• Categorise your social life accordingly: Not everyone has to be your friend. Some people are colleagues, acquaintances, fans of your work, or professional peers. It is helpful to put people in categories they belong to so you don't have expectations of them that they do not align with. For example, you might realise that the group of people in your network that inspire your career are your professional peers or acquaintances and not your friends. It's OK to maintain your circle even if they have different career aspirations. You respect each other, are not critical of each other's career choices, and share similar values. Find what groups of people in your network inspire your career journey and stay connected to those people without forcing friendship on them.

• Mentors and sponsors: We sometimes assume a friendship relationship with mentors. This assumption isn't often the case - identify anyone in your network which is your official or unofficial mentor(s) and approach that relationship differently. Understand your boundaries, and invest in nurturing the relationship with your mentors. Mentors eventually grow to become sponsors (someone who actively gives you the resources you need to advance your career, including upvoting you for opportunities), so you want to approach the relationship with your mentors intentionally. You can have mentors for different parts of your life and career, and it is okay to have an official, structured and time-bound contract with a mentor.

Ultimately, you want to associate with people who bring more value to your life. Avoid the notion that there are certain people you must be friends with based on what they appear to be on social media. Connect with people professionally on LinkedIn, follow their work and strike up conversations with them - avoid the pressure to add them to your inner circle and let that happen organically. Make sure you have career advocates, mentors and sponsors in your network or set goals to have these. You need people to help sense-check opportunities with you or advocate for you when needed. Friendships and social circles significantly influence our growth, so be intentional about this if you want to build a strategic career.

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Xoxo.